717 R


beggar children make
offerings of mud pies–
Buddha bows

(Revision 2)

 

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by Categories: haiku, poem, poems, poetry, senryuTags: , , , 4 Comments

4 thoughts on “717 R”

  1. will you consider posting the two previous versions – kind of the gestation of a gesture? What a softly so powerful image you paint, Bruce! I see the same smile that sometimes visits your face in my memory movie from KayBay and The Pendleton Hoosegow-cum-ISOshed. The current Jeopardy champ has a similarly upcurving enigma serving second duty as a smile.

  4. My stance about writing is to never explain, never defend, but my love for you negates that.

    The story is that two beggar boys offered a mud pie to the Buddha. Impressed with their sincerity, he caused them to be reborn as King Ashoka and his consort (go figure). Notice that the first two adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable pattern and then I went American style.

    1. (5-7-5)

    beggar children bow
    offer mud pies to Buddha
    bows back in reverence

    2. (5-7-5)

    beggar children bow
    offer mud pies to Buddha
    who bows back lowly

    3.

    beggar children make
    offerings of mud pies–
    the Buddha bows back

    4.

    beggar children make
    offerings of mud pies–
    Buddha bows

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